Sunday, March 28, 2010

My Heart is Burning

I have never felt so depressed in my life before December 18th,2001. From the time i received the devastating news to a month later, I was mourning and depressed. We never know how much we love someone until they're gone. When my best friend Brittany Medina passed away, I lost someone very special to me, and i knew I would never find a friend so special again. Brittany and I were best friends from first grade until December 18th,2001. We were like peanut butter and jelly. No one or nothing could have ever broken our friendship, except death.

It was December 16th, 2001 two days before the devastating tragedy, and Brittany kepty saying that she had a weird dream that something bad was going to happen. Being the vigilant friend I am, I told her not to pay attention to her dreams like that. Instead she ignored me and continued to tell me about her discomfronting dream. As she proceeded, my stomach felt like it was jumping out of place. Had I only known, I could never have let her put that dreadful curse on herself. Brittany was such a beautiful, intelligent, free-spirited person and I would have hated for something bad to have happened to her. On the day before Brittany's death, she was so happy. She was living life on her own. strong like a solo shinning star. I don't know why, but it was the most ecstatic time of her life. When I think about it, it seems so sad that she was so happy on the day before her death without even knowning it was going to be her last time at life.

Decemeber 18th,2001, my heart is burning. The night before I was tossing and turning, because something dark was keeping me from sleep. A warm, soft, whisper was trying to tell me something. Something terrible had happened. As I walked into the school court yard, my stomach jumped into my mouth as I saw people crying everywhere. All of a sudden i started to feel like I was all alone. I started to search for Brittany, but couldnt find her. My heart started burning. I couldnt' catch my breath. My friends came hastily towards me. They kept screaming something,but I was deathly afraid. Suddenly I had fallen into their arms and started weeping. I dont know who I heard it from but someone cried into my ear, "Brittany burned up in a fire," "She was in the hospital and 90% of her body was burnt." "She's gone." Those where the most unacceptable words I had ever encountered in my life. As I continued to cry I felt a slight breeze come across my face. It had seemed like I could hear a little voice say, "Dont be sad, I'm hear." I stopped weeping.

From that moment on I knew in my heart and spirit that the little voice was the angle Brittany had become, who whispered in my ear. Later that day I felt no more grief because I knew that Brittany had ascended to a beautiful place. But disappointingly one month later i needed Brittany. I felt so alone, like I never have in my life. Therefore I was once again full of grief and loneliness.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry for your lost ans I'm so happy your friend was joyful on her last day here on Earth. My Condolences and Yes she's in a more better and loving place and now you have a Guardian Angel.