Thursday, January 28, 2010

In Other Words

"Dont hate me becasue i wasnt who you thought i was or who you wanted me to be. From the start to finish you never knew the real me."

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then have to play better than anyone else."

"If you dont take risks, make changes, and make mistakes, than life would be worthless. By taking risks, making changes, and making mistakes you will learn from those actions and life would be less complicated."

"Unless your willing to have a go, fail miserably,and have another go, success wont happen."

"Friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back."

Daily Quotes

"Be more concerend with your character than your reputation,- because your character is what you really are-while your reputatoin is merely what others think you are."

"Just be what u want to be. Not what others want to see."

"Dreams arent worth waiting for, there worth working for."

"Motivation gets you started, but desire keeps you going."

Life isnt about finding yourself, its about creating yourself."

"Learn from the past. Live for the present. Dream of the future."

He Murdered Me..My soul. My mind. My heart.

Unfinished Words: He Murdered Me..My soul. My mind. My heart.

He Murdered Me..My soul. My mind. My heart.

He couldnt wait till the day came where my heart would stop beating, till my body laid lifeless with him standing over it with a stuck smile across his face. It was his destiny to get close to me make me love him and then with time and thought take over my life, end my life. He murdered me, and not just murdered but brutely murdered me. He took a knife and cut me right into my heart.Then he posioned my mind so that i couldnt think for myself ever again. And finally he drained my body and soul so that i was completely lifeless. So lifeless that when you were to look into my eyes all you would see was emptyness. He felt no compassion, no regret, and no sympathy for what he had done. He enjoyed the fact that he was slowly taking away the life of someone he once loved. To him this was a game, a feeling of pleasure. And even though killing me gave him pleasure, by no means did he deserved to be pleased.I could see his face each time he slowly took away my life. His eyes were black as night. I could see through his chest each time he poisioned me, his heart cold and solid as a block of ice. And i could see through his body each time he hurt me, right to a soul that no longer existed.This was someone that i loved dearly.The pain from being brutley murdered from love is he worst pain to endure. It's the kind of pain that will only go away as soon as you take that last breath and let go. I havent taken that last deep breath. Im still gasping for air, and feeling the unendurable pain of all the bruises and scars left all over my body inside and out. It hurts so bad and i just want so desperatley to take that last breath and be free from the pain. I want to let go. But i cant becasue he's torturing me. He has a hold on my life. He's not letting me take that last deep breath because he enjoys seeing me suffer. So as long as he sees me suffer he wont stop the torturing. I can say though that im almost there, im almost completely dead, but i just need one more breath to let out. Yes he has murdered my heart, mind, and soul, but he hasnt murdered all of me yet. I will one day take that last breath, but i just have to fight so that i can finally spread my wings and be free. Once im free i can be born again with a new heart, mind, and soul and love again.

To: You

Your smile,your lips, your kiss, your eyes, your gentle touch, with empty arms i reach for you, i miss you now so much. My thoughts of you run deep. Every moment everyday. im right there by your side. Even though youre far away. You say that you cant make it. But now we must be strong, ill see you soon, in my dreams tonight, And hold you all night long. Ill be right there beside you. Through any pain and strife, Together again, someday soon always, forever, the rest of my life.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Im sorry

I'm sorry.....
For how i always think of you.
Day in and day out.
When my eyes are opened.
And when theyre closed.
Youre all that crosses my mind.

Im sorry....
For how i long for your touch.
To feel you hold me tight and gently kiss me,
Having your arms around me.
Knowing that im safe with you.

Im sorry....
For the way i always miss you.
When you're right here with me.
You still seem so far away.
Like i can see you:youre there.
I just cant have you. I cant reach you.

Im sorry....
For the way that i need you so much.
When i knew that i had you.
Youre the one who has my heart.
And who means the world to me.
But, i cant help the way i need you.

Im sorry....
That i cant be everything you want.
I cant be that special person.
I cant give you what your need anymore.
I cant put that smile on your face anymore.
I cant be the one who has your heart anymore.

Im sorry....
That my wish will never come true.
But i still wont give up.
I love you so much and i will do anything.
I will wait until the end of time.
Or sleep forever, and have you in my dreams....

Black Heart

I never thought in a million years that my heart could go from whole and red to split and black. My heart once was whole, full of love, and pumping with red blood, but now it has been turned into a split, full of hatered, and bruised BLACK HEART. It has been ripped out of my chest, stomped on over and over until it was lifeless. My heart is damaged, full of pain, and destroyed. Its so broken that it would take a mircale to repair it. And its because of him that my body now lies lifeless for my heart stopped pumping its blood. Its becuase of him that i cant breath for my black heart caused me to have a heat attack. Its becuase of him that i feel empty inside because of the giant hole that is placed in the middle of my cold black heart. And its because of him that my life will never be the same, for i am now living with a BLACK HEART.

White Rose

In the storm stands the white rose, tumultous, wave soft destruction. Abound her yet tall is the white rose. Strong in the face, of the sensed doom around her. And she does not bow down, pure is the white rose.The compost earth growing eternal, strengthing the nights that so hurt. I see not the white rose. She is so far away but i long to protect her, but only the words can i say. So i send her my words, and my poets heart to help her when there is hope to see her through. Be strong little flower, your heart will guide true, and as long as you want i will always talk to you.


Music is the rhythm of my heart beats. It lives through my soul. Music is my life. I breath it. I sing it. I dance to it. And i live through it. Without music in my life it would be silent. My ipod, itunes, cds, stereo, are all of my needs. With no music to my ears i loose control. I loose thought. I love music. Its the reason i live. I cant live without it. Its my morning breakfast, my afternoo lunch,and my late night dinner. I love music soo much that it makes the skin on my body crawl. It makes weak in my knees. It makes the hair on my head tingle. Music is whoi am. Its me.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

I Am

I am a heart.
I wonder if i will ever get broken.
I hear the music of my beats.
I see many people who try to damage me.
I want to be loved.
I am a heart.

I pretend that i am perfect.
I feel the blood that rushes through my veins.
I touch the body that i lay inside.
I worry that someday i will get broken.
I cry when i feel the pain of being hurt.
I am a heart.

I understand that i am very delicate.
I say that you should always follow your heart.
I dream of being a survivor.
I try to give unconditional love.
I hope to never get ripped out of the chest and ripped into millions of pieces.
I am a heart.

A Thousand Masks

Don't be fooled by me: Dont be fooled by the paint covering my face:For i wear a mask, a thousand mask, masks that im afraid to take off, and none of them is me: Art is just pretending to be m, but dont be fooled: For God's sake dont be fooled: The impression i give you is that im secure, that confindence is my name and coolness is my gmae is my game, that im calm and in command, and that i need no one: But dont beileve me: My life may seem smooth but my life is my mask: Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness: But i hide this: I dont want anybody to know it: I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed: That's why i create masks to hide behinde, to help me pretend to sheild me from the real me: If i follow my acceptance, its my only hope, and i know it: Its the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls: Its the only thing that will assure me for what i cant assure myself, that im really worth something: I dont like to hide: I dont like to play these stupid games: I want to stop playing them: I want to be me, but youve got to hepl me: Youve got to hold out your hand even when thats the last thing i seem to want: Only you can wipe away from my eyes, the deep stare of the breathing dead: Only you can call me into aliveness: Each time youre kind and gentle, each time you really care, i begin to grow wings, very small wings But wings! With your power you can breath life into me: I want you to know that: Who am i, you may wonder: I am someone you know very well: For i am every man you meet, and i am every women you meet.

Friday, January 22, 2010


How can someone say,

wat LoVe actually is,

the emotion the devotion,

is wat it is.

But wat bout bad times,

times ya love lies,

wat bout the lonely nights,

where you sit alone and cry.

love is more than just emotions,

its a game you have to play,

find the pieces, put them together,

and this will help you find your way.

to LoVe someone is to DiE for them,

and be truthful in every word you say,

make sure ya love knows that you really do care,

and that you will never play.

to some LoVe is a dream,

in which they want to see,

to hold hands with someone,

to love for eternity.

to some love is a phobia,

a dreaded thought of betrayal,

and to encounter loving somebody,

will leave them thin and frail.

so LoVe cannot be explained,

as people have different views,

L.O.V.E is just a way of life,

and do with it what you choose...


I've never fooled anyone.

I've let people fool themselves.

They don't bother to find out who or what i am.

I don't argue with them.

They are obviously loving and hating someone im not.

They know it, so that's why they blame me for fooling them.

They try to classify me, and label me on a list.

But i am an original

They think that they seen something like me before but they are foolish.

I don't belong.

I am an individual.

I let them know that i don't fit in with their pretty misconceptions.

I don't follow their rules.

Instead i break them.

I am my own person.

I am the character that i was born with, not the one they created.

I am not your typical person.

Love is Murder

My Body lies limp on the flooor, with my eyes black from the tears youve made me cry. Im lifeless. The silence is only broken by the quiet breathes that i take, each one taking longer to come. I open my eyes, looking up at the ceiling, but they cant focus. Im drifting away. I picture you desperatley,. my last memory before these pills consume my entire body and heart jumps for the last time upon meeting your smile. When im near you, Your keep me breathing. But when i leave its like im being burnt to death, from the inside out, slow and painful. How is it you can be the reason i live when your the reason i die? You saved me but you killed me.