Friday, June 18, 2010

To Young

Thoughts seize my head with whys. I felt so alone. I was overwhelmed by grief, and i expected to find compassion. I found no compassion. I saw hundreds of other bodies that were as defectively jumbled as mine. I was given a number and positioned in a category called "car accidents." On a typical weekend was the day i died. Why did we have to get into that stupid, pointless argument. But no, im just to stubborn and hard headed. I just cant keep my mouth shut i have to keep going and going and when i keep going so does he. I remember when i left the house after the argument. I tip toed to the car and snuck the car out the driveway. I was so relieved that i was able to get away from all the drama. The thought of feeling free and at peace was so amazing. It wasnt the fact of how the accident happend. I was being careless, driving way to fast, and making a very unforgivable choice. But that didnt matter. I was enjoying my freedom and having a peacful time. Then all of a sudden i heard a crash. and i felt the whole car spin. Millions of pieces of glass flew everywhere I heard myself scream the most disturbing scream that i had ever heard in my life. My entire body seemed to be twisting and turning in many uncomfrontable postions.

Gradually i awkened. It was very quiet.A police officer was standing over me. I saw a doctor. My body was jumbled. I was covered by blood. Pieces of serrated glass were sticking out all over me. It felt like i was paralyzed, because i couldnt feel anything. I tried screaming, "Dont pull that sheet over my head!" "I cant be dead." "Im to young" "Ive got a wonderful date planed out for me and my boyfriend." "Im suppose t be the most fabolous fashion designer." "A whole fantastic life is ahead of me, i havent lived yet, i cannt be dead!"

My boyfriend came to identify me. Why did he have to see me like this? Why did i have to look into his eyes as he faced the most appalling nightmare of his life? "Yes she is my girlfriend," my boyfriend told the man in charge. As he spoken those words he seem terribly tramatized.

The funeral was bizarre. I saw all of my family walk toward my casket. They looked down at me with their eyes full of saddness. Some of my friends were crying. A few of them touched my hand and blubbered as they walked by. "Somebody wake me up!" "Get me out of here!" Mom and dad were in so much pain, and i can not endure it. My boyfriend looked as if he wanted to die himself. And my grandparents were so weak from grief, they can barley walk. Everyone looks like zombies. They're in a daze. No one can believe this. I cant believe it either. "Please dont bury me!" "Im not dead!" "I have so much to live for." "I want to sing and dance." "I want to run and laugh again." "Dont put me six feet under!" "God i promise if you give me just one more chance il be the most cautious driver in the whole world." "All i want is one more chance." "Please God, Im to young.

No comments:

Post a Comment