The Pain. The Hurt. The Anger.

I'm sick of always caring
I'm sick of always being there
It hurts knowing that in the end I'm only going to get hurt.

I'm sick of feeling the pain when getting hurt.
I'm sick of feeling the anger that follows what others did.

My heart beats uncontrollably with anger
Being hurt really boils my blood.

I want more than anything to let all of this pain, anger, and hurt go but my heart and pride wont allow it.
It's not that I dont want to let this go its just that I cant let this go.

Im sick of feeling this pain
I'm sick of hurting
And im sick of having this anger

Heartless

Come and seek me,
in the darkness I will wait,
indestructible,
with no memories to care,
with no purpose so gentle,
to care
only one mission,
destroy all,
but one...
me..

I am a killing beast,
missions of war are my priority,
to kill everyone,
but me,
crimson curtains and walls.
all are quiet,
resting.
not a sound..
only my breath,
Heartless,
nothing more,
but Heartless..

this is a tragic story of one so cold,
and lone.
How can someone be so Heartless?

Oblivion Vampire

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

-Sex in the City

To Good To Be True

“From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is. [Samantha]”- Sex in the City

I never really paid attention to that saying. I never did because sometimes we can expirence things that seem to good to be true. In the end it can play both ways, either really could be to good to be true or it can actually be true. Not to long ago i expierenced my first moment of "to good to be true" moment. Im not going to get in depth of the situation because im still trying to heal from it.The moment that i first came into contact with the "to good to be true" situation i had a gut feeling that something wasnt right. But because it felt so good it seemed so right i ignored my gut feeling. My head was saying yes while my heart was saying no. Boy was it a BIG mistake to ignore my gut feeling and my heart. If i had listened to my heart and followed my gut feeling then i wouldnt be going through the crazy emotions that im going through right now. But its life. We live and we learn. I cant say i regeret everything that happened in that situation becasue i learned from it. I know now that if my heart keeps trying to tell me something over and over than i need to WAKE UP AND LISTEN TO IT!